When a Father Prays

Years ago, when our family was young and life stretched out before us like an endless summer day, our family would gather together on Sunday mornings to pray for the Sunday services. Some might still be clad in pajamas, others appearing with their soaking wet hair wrapped up in towels, and some that had to be reminded what day of the week it was-nevertheless, we all assembled there, in our living room to begin the day. My good husband would speak to us in reverent, quiet tones as we embarked upon yet another Lord’s Day, asking for specific prayer requests. Ranging from petitions for someone who, tenderhearted as he or she was during this early morning time of devotion, expressed a desire for us to pray that he or she would become more obedient, to someone who asked us to pray that the Lord would, “please speak to my heart during the service”, we would then begin to pray. My husband would ask me to pray first and then each one of the kids in age order, from the youngest to the oldest, and then my husband would close. It was really a wonderful time for us, and looking back now I would say it was more important than we actually understood at the time. It also proved useful in ironing out any last minute wrinkles between siblings or parent and child which had arisen during the Sunday morning rush hour. Often smoothing over ruffled feathers that had been ruffled due to someone using someone else’s hairspray or tie, or the stress that arises due to any number of missing items from church shoes to belts, but especially due to someone taking an unconscionable amount of time (presumably taking up residence) in the restroom.

After all, it’s pretty pointless to try to pray if you’re disenchanted with the person praying beside you. On one of those priceless mornings when, one by one we had all prayed and my husband closed, our oldest said the sweetest thing. “Isn’t there just something so special when Dad prays?” I agreed. I don’t know if she meant that it was just the sound of his voice; the spirituality, the sincerity, or the earnestness. I think it was all that, and yet, well, to paint a picture, here was this little family, really pretty insignificant to the rest of the world on any given Sunday morning, yet, there we all were, offering all of those small requests. And then my husband’s closing prayer gave it all such significance. And I’m finding it difficult to put into words the level of confidence we had in him then, the knowledge that each of us possessed in the certainty that he was bringing all of our requests before the King, the surety that God was listening. I can say with assurance our confidence in him has only grown deeper all through the years, particularly when, as the head of our home, he often held our hands and hearts as he led us to pray our way through the deepest waters.

There is something about a man of God who prays with and for his family. It does many things at once. It brings security and peace to a home. It breeds respect and honor in those family members who know that their father or husband is a man that prays. And in a world that is constantly changing, for all the needs we have as life presents the most unexpected turn of events, the Bible tells us that many times God was moved because of the prayers of one man. If you have a husband who prays, who desires God’s leadership in his life, who sincerely tries to lead his family the right way, count your blessings. As a pastor’s wife, I’ve spoken to many women and I can tell you, a godly man is rare man. Someone who relies on God so his family can rely on him. A man, who trusts in God so deeply and depends upon his leadership, is a man worthy of a family’s devotion and respect. When you really stop and think about it, God has given men a weighty and ponderous role in life. It is a tremendous responsibility to the man who understands this role and the last thing he needs is a wife who opposes him. Or undermines him. The book of Proverbs mentions her several times, calling her, contentious, angry and brawling. A woman who resists his efforts, who always has a better plan, and who has become an expert manipulator. Solomon tells us a man would be better off living in the attic or the wilderness than with her! Think about the size of Bible-day homes. An attic, I am sure, was more like a closet. And consider with me for a moment, the intentional use of and reference to the word wilderness. That miserable, howling, desolate, wasteland the children of Israel certainly knew well. They heard all about their rebellious ancestors for generations, knowing they inhabited the wilderness for some 40 years. Imagine a husband/wife relationship that was so stressful it would provoke a man to flee back to the wilderness! The Word of God is perfectly explicit and means what it says. What a shame that a man would actually prefer that to living at home with his wife. Sadly, many men in this position just throw up their hands and disconnect. Good bye. Oh he’s in the home physically-but emotionally-he’s gone. Because really, he knows a wife like that is going to undermine all of his efforts anyway. She is the chief defender, excuser and enabler of the kids. She always knows better. So he’ll just wander off and immerse himself in some hobby or endless hours of TV nightly…So how can we, as Christian women, be the helpmeet God intends for us to be? Or perhaps, more to the point, why aren’t we? Being a helpmeet does not imply that we are to live our lives in mute obedience. I think any good, godly man would heartily amen that a spiritual minded, discerning wife is invaluable to him; we might even say her worth is far above rubies…So, for what my opinion is worth, and more importantly, in order to bring much glory to the Lord, here’s what I think we can do to encourage, support and add quality to the lives of our guys:

1. Get in your God ordained place and make yourself comfortable. You’re going to be there for the rest of your married life!

2. Listen. My poor husband. I know there have been more times than I’d like to admit-when I’ve come out firing off ideas, objections, opinions, thoughts, plans, etc. faster than Machine gun Kelly-(a real, notorious character from the pages of American history). Your husband’s opinions may be vastly different from yours-but they are worth listening to. Don’t find that out the hard way after the fact…

3. Humble yourself. Whatever for? Some might be tempted to query. Because we don’t know everything, we are not always right about everything. It’s often true and in some cases beneficial that husbands and wives have differences of opinions-but in the end-you’re done and he makes the call.

4. When you disagree, or agree to disagree, let it go and give it to the Lord. If your husband is making a wrong decision, or if you are so frustrated and strongly disagree, you need to place the entire matter in the Lord’s hands and wait on him.

5. It’s really gratifying-(okay-full disclosure-thrilling!) to hear your husband utter the coveted words, “Honey, you were right about that-I’m so glad I listened to you”, conversely, it is a shameful thing for a wife to give her husband the cold shoulder when she doesn’t get her way.
Remember, girls, no matter how you slice it- he’s just flesh and blood and needs your prayers. And because we need the Lord’s blessings on our lives and answered prayer, we need to behave ourselves accordingly.

The days when our family would come tumbling down the stairs early Sunday mornings to pray together are just memories now. And yet, the positive effects are with us still today. A picture perfect family? I would never claim that, but of this one thing I am certain; it really does make a difference when a father prays.

Thanks so much for reading – Liz