Summerhood

“And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.” Isaiah 54:13

If only it could always be summer. If only it could always be like this. These summer days wrap themselves around us like a soft blanket. And whether we are absorbed in the quiet companionship of an old familiar book some lazy afternoon, or being entertained by a yard full of splashing, squealing, sun kissed children, the sound of the ice cream man looming in the distance- it is summer and we embrace it. We do this because we understand these days do not last forever; summer will end soon enough and so will childhood. If we are not wise when our children are young, it will be easy to think of summer days as nothing more than the endless refilling of water pistols, the relentless moaning that there’s nothing to do and hungry children all day long. But take heed mothers, if you’re not careful you will become the always respected, but never adored infamous drill sergeant mother, just stopping short of flipping your teen son’s or daughter’s mattress over in the morning because he or she is sleeping in again. You’ll become as one who seems to have lost her mind, as you recall how earlier in the year you could not get your teen near the shower, and now, at the end of the summer, they have taken up residence in there. If we’re not mindful the tendency will be just to get through the day, to get it over with.

But oh how much you miss if you take that sad perspective of summer days at home with your children! Did you not see? Has it escaped your notice that last summer your little boy couldn’t even make one basket, yet this summer he’ s shooting hoops left and right? When you walk past his bedroom at night and see him sitting there, looking out at the summer night sky in all its stunning splendor, do you ever take a moment to slip in beside him and gaze at the wonder of it all? And speak to him about the marvel of the fact that those stars have been around since the first week of creation! You might miss those moments altogether if you’re always on a mission, just to get through another day.

If you are not aware of the fleeting nature of these days, you may spend them never pleased with the attempts your daughter has made in doing her own hair, or helping you around the house, or following your exact instructions; while in dissatisfied tones you lecture her about her short comings throughout the day. You may not even notice how defeated she has become as it is not always easy to please a mother. Though she may not execute everything according to your specifications, did you even notice, at least she’s trying.

As far as your teens and young adults are concerned, you may just need to stop and take a deep breath. For their sakes. You do realize of course, the days are flying at supersonic speed and before you know it your daughters and sons will be grown and gone. It’s a rhetorical question. I know you become frustrated and weary, repeating yourself ad infinitum about things like using too much hairspray or not hanging up their clothes. I can hear you wondering out loud what on earth could possibly be wrong with their feet to make their sneakers reek to the extent they take over the entire first floor of your home. You do realize that when you were their age, you had to be told the same things, you had the same issues? It’s another rhetorical.

And for all in the name of what’s good and decent-will you please stay off the internet! Telling your blossoming teen girls perfume is toxic and will kill them is not helpful or truthful. Let them spray it on their jean jackets then. Teaching your innocent children that there are pesticides in everything they eat from apples to potato chips is going to cause more problems for them mentally and emotionally then eating an Oreo twice a year will physically. Just in case you didn’t know-not everything on the internet is accurate. And even for those of us immersed in health foods and all things natural- I’ve watched all the fads come and go. Purified water- alkaline water, coffee’s good-coffee’s bad, milk’s out-milk’s in, olive oil-avocado oil, avocado oil-coconut oil… What next? I remember for years the experts convinced young mothers to feed their babies and children only soy products. The professionals readjusted their tune about ten years into it when they discovered a generation of boys with high voices and female characteristics because soy milk is full of estrogen! Watch what you perceive to be as sound as the gospel when it comes to the info on the WWW.

I feel such a sense of urgency in all I want to express to you about these years. These seemingly endless days with your children, when the days blend into weeks and the weeks crawl into months are not to last forever. One day, to your surprise and sadness, they will vanish and you will wonder where the time has gone. If only there was some way I could get you to see that these days are golden. And as the poet so wisely has said, “nothing gold can stay.” The intuitive Robert Frost.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I am proposing that you forget everything else in the world, drop all of your responsibilities, obligations, the running of your household, etc. and go on exhilarating excursions and impromptu picnics. You’re thinking instead of strict and adamant bedtimes I challenge you to tip toe out into the darkness of night, throw an old blanket down, and lay stargazing with your children, pointing out planets and constellations. Especially note the North Star, which never changes position, reminding us of our Lord Jesus Christ; the same yesterday, today and forever. I understand you have to care for your homes. But remember, a house alone has little meaning. It’s the people who live there and the love they share that bring it to life and fill it with memories. And though not my nature, I will be forward enough to assert that it is the mother’s responsibility to get the ball rolling on those memories.

How should I say it? Surely you feel how these last few days of summer go like arrows through your heart. And day by passing day, each one feels like you’re sitting in the highest seat of a Ferris wheel. You’re suspended in that gently rocking basket, looking out and across, you look behind and before, and it all seems so distant, so far away. Before you can take it all in, with a jerk of a start you’re headed down, down, down toward fall. Down to the schedule, the pace and the business of it all. Landing with both feet firmly planted on the ground, which is exactly where they need to be, but not without one last look heavenward to see where you’ve been. And it’s funny because you will think, “I was just way up there, only a few moments ago…How quickly the ride went…how transient this day.” I can promise you this, based on personal experience; someday, you’ll find yourself wishing you could do it all again.

Just a few thoughts for one of these soft summer evenings as you’re out there catching fireflies with your darlings.

Thanks for reading
Liz