Okay! Let’s get right to it, shall we? If some were completely honest they might have to admit that on occasion their assumptions and preconceived notions about others are wrong; (Wait! What?-Insert head exploding emoji…) and therefore their appraisal of people or situations just may be incorrect. For, unless one has experienced something firsthand and has the unadulterated facts-it is entirely possible those assumptions have-in all probability-caused one to judge someone most unfairly.
Possibly.
Peradventure.
Furthermore, invariably this misinformation gets into the hands-or should I say mouths- of those most eager to distribute it. Consequently, there are innocent people whose reputations would not be in question, culpable people whose reputations should be, and drama that would never erupt if people would not presume to entangle themselves by word or deed in other people’s affairs. Cricket, cricket…
I can speak with intelligence and experience to this matter because I am married to a pastor, which, by affiliation makes me a Pastor’s wife, (no self-aggrandizing-just rolling up my sleeves like everyone else…) and let me assure you-“We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two!” (And boy oh boy oh boy could I tell you stories that would make your hair stand up on end about the conduct of some professing Christians!) Nonetheless, if some think my observations are somewhat pronounced, they may be surprised to learn what the Word of God says about this subject, as the Bible teaches us that a Christian’s love for Christ is evidenced by how we speak to, love, and care for one another. In the Bible, many phrases characterize those who do not refrain from causing division and trouble with their words: a whisperer, a talebearer, a backbiter, corrupt communicators, a hypocrite, those with lying lips, slanderers, those who disobey the ninth commandment, and more. In all cases, we are admonished to keep from doing it. Equally as wrong is slander because its sole purpose is to spread information deliberately intended to damage the reputation of another. It is an abusive attack on a person’s character or good name.
However, I am addressing this article to those of us who strive to be good Christians, and who want to move on to higher ground. And just to prove my heart is in the right place before I go one step further, a mortifying anecdote by way of personal illustration-insert grimacing emoji here:
When I was a young Christian, I had a friend named Sheila who was a great new convert in Christ. One of those, “I got it-I get it-I’m sold out” types of new converts. At the time, my husband was in Bible College, and we were poorer than the poorest church mice. Our meager income was distributed in the following ways: Tithe, missions, rent, Bible-College tuition, gas, Pampers-Pampers-Pampers, and if there was anything left a few groceries. Sheila and I had a mutual friend whose family had a windfall financially. I forget the exact details now, but I know the family went from living in the “Mouse Tenement District” with us to a better place for them. Sheila was so excited for them and began telling me the good news. Forthwith, the envious, green-eyed monster in me blurted out, “Oh wow. Must be nice…,” which was such a gossipy thing to say for I did not mean it as a compliment. Sheila just looked at me and in that beautiful, untainted way that is so typical of a brand spanking new convert of Christ, she just kind of cocked her head and very nicely said, “Well, that didn’t sound like it was salted just right.” She was referring to Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” I was so ashamed at the time I just wanted to crawl right back into my mouse hole, but you see it was good for me because forty-something years later I remember how those words pierced my soul for good. To this day I love her for the gentle rebuke and so many other things.
What is it that induces or provokes some people to speak uncharitably about others and why do some always seem to have the lowdown on everybody? Moreover, what then drives them to broadcast that information? Likely, it could be motivated by jealousy, or insecurity, as people who must put others in a bad light are under the illusion that doing so somehow raises their status. (But it never does.) Some, however, as the Bible tells us, are just busybodies and talebearers who cannot resist inserting their noses into others’ affairs. Additionally, they often have no real knowledge of what happened or what is being presented but they just “jump on the bandwagon.” Funny-this old expression. The first usage of this phrase can be found in his autobiography “The Life of P.T. Barnum, Written by Himself”, which he wrote in 1855. Circuses were very skilled at attracting the public by having an exciting parade roll through town, complete with a highly decorated bandwagon. And even though the circus actors on the wagon included those whom the average person back in the mid-1800s would consider disreputable- (women who were not exactly appropriately clothed, strange and peculiar performers such as magicians, snake charmers, or those completely covered with tattoos, etc.)- when people heard and saw the wagon coming they would drop everything and follow along-some would even hop on with not one clue as to where they were headed! And the bandwagon metaphor still exists today. Chirp…chirp…
Now, what is so interesting to note about the membership of the Lord’s churches is that God, throughout his Word, chose to use sheep to portray his children. It certainly was not a random choice, of course, knowing God is a God of order and precision. He likens his children to sheep for a reason, so here are the facts…about us!
Overall, most sheep have such a lovely nature. They love to flock and have God-given strong flocking instincts, for sheep have no defense against predators, so they find safety in numbers. Most love to be together. Most love to have their local shepherd nearby. Where he leads them, most will follow. They tend to be a bit skittish; any loud noise or sign of trouble sends them directly to the shepherd. They adore the peacefulness of still waters and have an affinity for quiet, green pastures.
However, sometimes they can get into trouble when, instead of listening to the shepherd, they follow what the next sheep is doing! In 2006, in eastern Turkey, a shepherd reported the death of over 400 of his sheep. One of them just on impulse, apparently not satisfied with the grass where he was feeding, attempted to jump across a 150-foot-deep ravine…and missed.
And all the other sheep followed!
Sometimes there will be one, or a few among the flock that shepherds identify as “head-butters.” Did you know sheep have thick skulls? Truly, they do! Sheepherders and ranchers will tell you one way to stop this head-butting thing early on is to avoid petting and coddling the head-butters. Also, it is recommended that a good splash of cold water right in their faces will help them to snap out of it momentarily…(soooo many analogies here, I can hardly take it!) It requires a lot of patience on the part of the shepherd to get through to some of them. Hmmmm…) Shepherds must beware of these guys because once one gets into their head-butting mode, they can become most aggressive and do damage!
Also, according to shepherds, sometimes there are those within the flock that cannot be trusted! One shepherd down in Lancaster County, Pa. said, “It is always important to know who and where the “head-butters” are and whatever you do- never turn your back on them. It is both a natural and learned behavior in sheep.” Speaking as a sheep myself just give me the shepherd, still waters, and green pastures for the rest of my life and deliver me from the head-butters! And while we’re on the subject of head-butters, they can be influencers as well! That is why the shepherd keeps his eye on them. As mentioned earlier, sheep like to flock and follow one another. Within the church, there are from time to time those who take their hard-headedness one step further by stepping over the shepherd entirely (ewe crazy?!)and brazenly interfering in some poor, unsuspecting sheep’s life by counseling or reprimanding them, upsetting some sheep to the place where he or she will even leave the church! Well, as the ancient Roman writer Plautus used to say, “Where there are sheep, the wolves are never very far away.”
Consider with me for a moment if you would be so kind, we are privileged in our church family to have among us some of New York’s Finest, and they are terrific guys. Intelligent, discerning men with beautiful wives and families. And yet-even they-with all of their credentials and qualifications-even they do not police the church! Well, why of course they wouldn’t! They know what the Bible says!
“And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:” Well, the Apostles and prophets are long gone. And the evangelists are out on the mission fields. That just leaves the Pastor and teachers. We have one Pastor and some exceptionally good men appointed by him to teach and or preach. God will lay it on the heart of the true Pastor-(not a hireling)-as the ordained under-shepherd of the Lord’s church-to begin to confront someone should the need arise. Never once does that verse or any other verse in the Bible permit fellow church members to accuse and straighten out another member. Imagine the mayhem! Never ever. Matters often come to the attention of a loving pastor and either he will prayerfully address a straying or erring sheep as the Lord leads or he will rely on someone spiritually capable to do so. This is the biblical way of dealing with problems within the church. Often, the pastor knows more of the “back story” so he may not be quite as eager as the church member who wants to take the law into his or her own hands. I have heard and witnessed some outrageous stories about women in churches and how they wronged another church member…all in the name of “Christianity” you know…and it’s a shame.
Members of Bible-believing, Bible-preaching churches are to approach each other in love and honor. And as the wonderful Book of Romans instructs us, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:8. God knows there will be personality differences, relationship problems, and dealings with those who are not exactly the embodiment of honesty. And so we do our best, “Everything,” as the dear Matthew Henry has said, “with an eye toward Christ.” According to the Word of God, it is always better to be reserved in our assessments of someone or some situation rather than to be presumptuous. After all, we could be wrong.
In closing, let me affirm that the Lord’s church is a very special place, like no other. We willingly place ourselves under the leadership of a pastor who does not rule by his own merits or by his design but as a loving servant of Christ, the Chief Shepherd, “Who is, “the head over all things to the church, Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.”
We meet someone as perfect strangers and as the years go by we often become the dearest of friends closer than relatives! We babysit one another’s children or teach them in Sunday School. Our kids call their friend’s parents aunt or uncle, and someone else’s grandmother regards our children as one of their own. We care for one another and bring meals for those who are sick or struggling. We share holidays, hopes, heartbreaks, and prayer requests. We sit next to the same person in church or choir for years and follow the faith and leadership of our wise and loving pastor. And as people come and go life keeps perfect time though we don’t even realize how hastily it is passing, often taking us by surprise. And we recognize what a privilege it is to belong to this holy company! We are inseparably and eternally bound together. Therefore, our love and loyalty to each other ought to make disunity unthinkable! Called saints, holy ones, as the Spirit of God led the writers to name us over fifty times in the New Testament, may we endeavor to live up to that calling.
Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” Ephesians 3:21
Thank you for the time you took to read this,
Liz
